Learning how to ride a bike without stabilisers seemed absolutely impossible for me as a child. I tried and tried with all the will power that a 5- or 6-year-old can muster, but was always too scared when my mum let go of the seat. My body would automatically turn rigid and my feet would slam to the floor. Until one day, I took my shiny red bike out and just got on it. To my surprise, I was riding it unaided and managed this for a short distance. In all fairness, that has been my approach to life ever since. Whatever life throws at me, no matter how hard it may seem at the time, I eventually find my way and just get on with it.
Since leaving my London job to follow my dreams, many of you may have assumed that I’ve just been sitting on my butt whilst my husband goes to work to bring home the bacon. This couldn’t be further from the truth, it’s really not my style. Both my brother and I were raised to be incredibly independent from a very early age, just like my parents both were. I don’t blame you in thinking that at all, it’s very easy to fill in the gaps and make assumptions when you haven’t been told the full story. We are all prone to it, it’s just human nature I guess. To be fair, I wasn’t even going to discuss any of this on the blog. I’m often worried about over-sharing on here, however since some of the changes that I have been working on will eventually effect C&C (some of which are happening behind the scenes as we speak) I thought that it was only right that I gave you a bit of insight as to what I’ve been up to and my future plans.
To recap if you’re a new reader or need to catch up, I graduated from my first degree in Medical Genetics and then took a gap year. Rather than going travelling I decided to take up full-time employment at my part-time retail job that I’d started the summer that I began university. Despite working my way up from the bottom to the management team, I knew that retail wasn’t for me and pursued the idea of a research career in science, applying for Ph.D. positions. This was a tortuous task as I’d never felt particularly intelligent, I just work damn hard for everything that I have achieved academically. After a couple of scary interviews for different Ph.D. projects, I thankfully landed a position to study neuroscience, which has always been a passion.
I’ve already documented on the blog the insecurities and self-doubt that haunted me throughout my PhD, so when the examining board announced that I had passed my Ph.D. viva examination the sigh of relief that left me was immense. My Ph.D. graduation is to this day the proudest moment of my life. It’s possibly one of the hardest mental battles I’ve endured. In the beginning, I never expected the amount of hard work it would take, but despite everything I persevered and made it to the end.
Throughout the entire duration of my Ph.D. I remained employed at my retail job (part-time not full-time). Alfie was at medical school, bills and tuition fees needed paying so it was essential that I remained working. My Ph.D. stipend was a sufficient amount and supported us both comfortably. We were also planning our wedding when I was writing my thesis, so when the opportunity came up to earn some extra money I left my first retail job for a retail admin job that was 4 days a week.
I often get asked how I juggled a Ph.D., working 4 days a week, planning my wedding and then a big move down south. My answer is always: ‘I’m not sure, I just got on with it!’ On reflection, I have no idea how I did it because it sounds completely mad! I just remember being exhausted and never having any spare time. I believe if something’s worth doing then work hard and go for it. This was all definitely worth it.
When I ventured into Ph.D. land, it was often sold to me that any job could be mine there-on-after. Naively I believed them too! I soon came to realise that you can’t just walk into a job regardless of what qualifications you have. After graduating and realising that a post-doc position wasn’t for me, I remained at my retail admin job for at least 10 months more whilst I attended interviews for my dream job. Well, that was a tough ten months, let me tell you. Endless tears and headaches over why no-one would employ me despite me having a Ph.D. I documented this on the blog here. I’d invested a lot of time and effort in myself academically, but still no luck. This hit me hard and the previous insecurities that plagued my Ph.D. reared their ugly head again – perhaps I just wasn’t good enough?
Then came the redundancy at my retail admin job. Even though this wasn’t a job that I particularly wanted as a lifelong career, it still served as another blow to my self-confidence. It was tough, but it gave me that extra push and motivation that I needed to find that job that I knew I would love. The never-ending search continued and during my 3 month notice period, with four weeks to go I managed to find my dream job in London. Facing redundancy was extremely difficult not only because of the financial upset, but it’s the feeling of instability that was unsettling to me. I know that I was extremely blessed to find another job in time, especially because it was a job that suited my qualifications and in an area that I could build upon.
I loved my new job as it combined both my love of science and writing and I was learning a lot along the way. However, after the months rolled on, many late nights later and many journeys backwards and forwards between Oxfordshire and London something began to snap. Almost a year later I realised that this particular company wasn’t for me. After much talking from my ever supportive husband I decided to call time on my job there in pursuit of something closer to home and something that I felt was more fulfilling. This wasn’t an easy decision at all. Going from 2 full-time wages to one was such a learning curve and the first few months were extremely hard. With time we have learnt, managed and adapted quite well.
So on went my search for a new job in a similar field. Basically, I knew what I wanted to do, it was just a case of finding the right role within the right company. By this time, we had discovered that I was pregnant with our little lentil. From experience, I knew that my job search could be a difficult and long road full of rejection. My baby boy is a true blessing, but part of me knew that perhaps as I started to show I would experience some discrimination. Even though employers say that they’re going to be fair, let’s face it, they’re going to hire the woman who isn’t going to go on maternity leave in a few months time. Although determined as ever, in my usual style I kept trying, even applying for positions that didn’t require any of my qualifications. By the time I was 6 months pregnant I decided that perhaps it was time to postpone the job hunt until after the baby and figure out another path.
During all of this time I’ve worked hard and carving out a bit of a freelance career for myself through blogging and my writing, so far it’s going well. I feel extremely lucky that I’ve been blessed with an incredibly supportive husband. He pushes and inspires me every single day and has given me this time to pursue my dreams. Constantly reassuring me throughout my studies and never questioning my abilities, despite my own insecurities. I would still continue blogging even if no one was reading or if my current adventure fails. It’s not why I started blogging in the first place, but I’m extremely fortunate to have been given some amazing opportunities that have enabled me to potentially turn my hobby into a vocation. ‘Think one step ahead…’ is one of the best pieces advice that I’ve been given. If this doesn’t go to plan then I do have a backup plan, which involves returning to my scientific roots.
Doing what I love is my life long affirmation and I’m not afraid to try new things. Sometimes I may need that extra push to take that leap of faith, but the innate willingness to try is always there. I do have some major plans in store for the blog. Some of these plans are underway, but all will be revealed once everything is in place with its revamp. Essentially this blog is an expression of my passions, which hopefully empowers other women to lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Basically, you can be healthy and have your cake and eat it too! I feel this message at times has become lost, however, it will be more prominent than ever when I relaunch the blog later this year, which will hopefully offer a refreshed and unique voice to Celery and Cupcakes.
As always, a massive thank you for your ongoing support and faith, you guys really are fab! Whatever the future has in store, wherever the path may lead, I look forward to it with a positive outlook. Hopefully, I’ll be ready to take that leap of faith.
How do you approach changes in you life, professional and personal? Have you completely changed your career direction and taken that leap of faith?
I was always stressed having a baby would mean my career was over. Prior to getting pregnant I gained sufficient experience in my field and now I hope to work in my specific are two days per week ( three max) from next year. I would love to do this whilst raising this baby and having another. After this a phd is on the cards for me too! Unless industry provides a brilliant opportunity. I worried I would waste my career with a baby but more than ever want a job I love so my daughter wants that for herself. Also, if it takes longer to find the perfect role that’s ok too as I figure I am doing an important job at home too!
After reading this, I don’t know anyone who could fail to feel inspired and determined. The number of times you have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and found something else is humbling. It sounds like it has brought you to a true expression of yourself and your passions, which is great but what a journey and lots of blood, sweat and years along the way.
If anyone can inspire women to tackle something daunting, it’s you. James is highly scientific and confident and loves his PhD but I know how stressful and hard it is, I can’t imagine doing it without thinking I was both of those things – so huge kudos to you.
I love reading Celery and Cupcakes, can’t wait to see where you take it next!
Sounds like you’ve learnt to be amazing at time management! I’m yet to get to a point where I need to change career paths or do anything major, still a baby fortunately! x
You are full of spirit and resilience. I am so excited about your blog plans!
Reading this was inspiring. You have overcome each hurdle with grace! I wish you all the luck in the world in your new freelance career and with your little lentil 🙂
I am looking forward to seeing all the changes 🙂
Such an inspirational story Jemma! You have triumphed over adversity on every occasion and I know that you will do well in your future ventures no matter what happens.
Taking the leap and being a full-time bogger/freelance writer was the best decision I ever made. You are going to love it!
I deal with change very apprehensively, depending on how big the change is. When I moved 1500 miles from home, this was the biggest change in my life. I just had to jump in head first, which is not something I do. However, I knew if I wanted to be successful I needed to, no matter how scary it was. Do I regret my decision today? NOPE. It was one of the best things I’ve ever did for myself.
I feel that sometimes, we need to do this in order to keep growing. Because that’s the goal, right? To keep growing and changing to better ourselves. I love that you’re making big decisions, and everything will eventually fall into place. You’ve already accomplished so much, I can’t wait to see where the future takes you. It takes a lot of courage to be transparent on a blog, thanks for being real.
I agree with all of the comments above. I wish that I had your determination and drive to succeed. Thank you for being so honest and open. You’re clearly a woman on a mission and I wish you all of the luck in the world. Good for you!
I can relate in some ways! I decided to quit my full time job and start up my own business. It was a leap of faith, and I’m still not sure how my Husband and I managed financially, but we did! And I don’t regret that decision at all!
I love how you tied everything together with the story of you and your bicycle as a child. I try to face everything directly, in every state of my life.
Motherhood is such a big decision no matter what time in your life it comes. I had my first son when I was 21, I had no desire to go to school and my husband, who is older than me, wanted to start a family.
Everything sort of fell into place for me after that. I found my place in the world while rocking babies to sleep. I had a small stint going to school for Interior Design, but decided it was the path for me, and it was right.
You will love carving out your own way, however it works out!
Oh, boy, I love these quotes! The post was super inspirational, I totally agree!
Change is difficult and stressful, but you seem to be very resilient. I’m rooting for you, girl!
I love that you were able to open up so much– this community is amazing + I know you’re going to be incredible! The graphics you found were uber cute too 🙂
Great post! I can totally understand how you feel and I think that it’s great that you opened up and talked about it!
This was really encouraging to read! You really seem to have the time management thing down. I had to work on that a lot this past year since I was working full time, in school full time, working on my blog and trying to have a life!
Wow, what a great post. I wish you the best of luck
I have completely changed my career but not really by choice. I am a RN but no longer work in the field. It has been a tough adjustment for me, especially financially. But, I love what I do now and it was worth it.
This is the post I needed. All those quotes are lifting my heart in a time of trail and error. Thanks so much for saying what I needed!
Good for you! Can’t wait to hear about the new plans. Follow those dreams, girl 😉
What an amazing story. My word for 2014 is fearless, and you are a great example of that!
I can relate to so much of this. I’m hoping eventually I can write full time myself, but it’s the most terrifying thing in the world. What’s crazy though, is I’ve already made some really big dreams of mine come true, so, I don’t know why I’m so scared.
But the fact that I am is probably a really big sign that it’s right.
Thanks for being so candid. I’m glad you’re finding your way to happiness.
I can totally relate! I graduated with a degree in civil engineering and worked for a bit before my husband and I had our daughter. I am now a stay at home mom, something I NEVER imagined. People don’t get it and can be extremely cruel sometimes. You just have to keep your head up and keep doing what is best for your family and what makes you happy!
I think it is great that Alfie has supported you through all of this, and I am sure whatever you do next you will enjoy.
Beautiful and inspiring! It’s so great that you have a supportive husband through all of it. I have a lot of life changes coming up over the next couple weeks and I know I wouldn’t make it through it all without mine!
You are amazing my dear, don’t you ever forget that. Your tenacity and will to just LOVE life and find what is right for you is truly inspiring. You will find that perfect balance of what works for you, and I have a feeling it will be soon. Great post love, and thanks for sharing! xoxo
Absolutely love that Steve Jobs quote. It’s words like that – that can make you rethink everything! Such an inspiring post!
I love your spirit. I remember a friend telling me that life never slows down so never wait for “the perfect time”, but it may never come. It’s really ambitious how many things that you juggled!
Thanks for sharing this. I have had to readjust my dreams due to health problems…wait, i’ll be honest, i’m still searching for my ‘new’ dream. It is so hard to pursue your dreams! Good for you for continuing and yay for a supporting husband! congrats on the little lentil. =)
I so needed this today!!!
Isn’t it weird how as we grow older we become so much more afraid to fall? I mean that both literally and figuratively. I used to ride my bike around the block a ton of times with no hands the whole way, and now when I’m on a bike I can’t even bring myself to TRY no hands for five seconds because I’m so scared of falling. I am like this with other areas of life of course, with my business, etc. Darn you growing up!
Congratulations on you PhD and good luck with your blogging carrier! You are lucky to have a such a supportive husband!
Some very good inspirational words here. I’ve changed my attitude lately to just do things, even if they scare me and I can’t believe all of the amazing opportunities and stuff I’ve been able to do since then.
LOVE the quote ‘what if you fly?’ i love changes, they are exciting, and leap of faith has been my choice mostly! wish you all the best!!!! x
Wow! I’m amazed at all you have accomplished! Especially everything you juggled while getting your PhD! Good for you. And seriously, good for you for following your passions!
It weird when you look back see how much time you where working and wonder how you did, sounds insane working 4 days and doing your phd. I used to work 70-100 hours most weeks and I’ve no idea how I did it looking back. It’s great that you’ve been able to do some freelance will being pregnant 🙂
Gosh what a turbulent time! But amazingly you’ve come through so well and am sure you’re stronger because of it. I love your blg and can’t wait to see where it goes 🙂
And how lovely that Alfie is so supportive 🙂
I am so proud of your journey! It is always a tough one when things don’t go your way or how you planned, but something magical always comes out of it
I sent this post to my best friend who is currently making a huge life change, off the beaten track. Huge kudos to you Jemma, having the courage to break out of what was expected of you and follow your dreams. I have never thought that you ‘lived off Alfie’ or anything of the like, to me you are a strong, confident and independent woman – an inspiration to me. Oh, but I am kinda jealous of your photos of home desk breakfasts 😉 the best!
Thanks for all the great quotes. Sometimes we need a little encouragement and To get it all out.
I have completely changed my career direction recently. I have taken a break from my career as a television writer and producer to pursue my passion of creating a business. I’m so passionate about exactly what you’re talking about. My business is all about motivating moms to find and follow our passions.
I’m happy for you that you’ve been supported by your hubby along this journey.Without my husband, I totally couldn’t do this. I look forward to the changes here and am so excited for all you have in store! xoxo
I identified with so much in this blogpost: PhD, writing jobs, redundancy
I wish I’d started blogging sooner.