The gym is a place where I find a gentle release from the busy life that I’m leading at the moment. Forty to sixty minutes to myself and my thoughts is utter bliss and in addition to this I reap all the health benefits and feel good factor that a gym workout can bring. On many occasions, the gym has become a place of unsettled thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. Let me explain…
Time after time I find myself comparing myself to other girls in the gym, casting glances right to left to see how I measure up against the others. There will be the girl in the funkiest and well put together exercise gear and I will rock up in faded leggings and a creased top. Another girl who may be slimmer and more toned than me. Oh and don’t’ forget the girl and sometimes guy who can run so much faster than me on the treadmill, without taking a break or breaking out a sweat.
I have tried to update my gym wardrobe with ‘fashionable’ workout clothes to wear to the gym, but damn they’re expensive and out of my reach. It’s normally TK Maxx and the sale rails for me. Even though I have learned to accept my body and shape, like anyone I am prone to days of feeling like crap when I look in the mirror. Days where I try on everything in my wardrobe and nothing seems to fit right or look even close to decent. I know that I am being kinder to my body my not being a cardio addict, but sometimes I still wish that I could compete with the other treadmill speed demons.
This isn’t a frequent occurrence, but the comparison trap seems to be cyclic in nature as it’s something that I cannot seem to break. A part of me feels that it’s inherent. Us ladies are born with it and that it’s built into our DNA. Ultimately it’s extremely upsetting that we are never satisfied with what we have, but at the same time I think that it’s a natural thought process that we all go through.
Like I’ve said in previous posts I do feel like my mindset has completely transformed where acceptance of my natural shape and where my body is most comfortable. Despite this accomplishment, I still have those days when I look in the mirror and feel blah and make comparisons to other people. No matter how much we love our body, no one is perfect and we are all prone to these ‘off’ days. There should be no shame or in feeling this way. We are only human after all. As sad as it is, we all do it and there is no point in hiding it. At some stage, we will compare ourselves to others, but essentially I think what is most important in these situations is the way we handle ourselves and try not get to get carried away with it.
What are your thoughts on the whole comparison trap? How do you deal with these thoughts?
I had one of these off days yesterday, so you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. And I still fall victim to the comparison trap on occasions, but I’ve found it’s become a lot better if you try and keep in mind that what you see is NEVER the full picture. People always present the best version of themselves, but you never see what goes on behind the scenes — everyone has some kind of struggle that they’re dealing with, and keeping that in mind helps put things into perspective.
I’ve definitely been drawn into these comparisons Jemma, especially at the gym. I think it is maybe easier to compare there because people are in tight clothes and you can see their speed and distance etc on the machines – something you can’t if you’re just running around!
I like to go to the gym when noone else is there, then I don’t have to worry 🙂
The gym is the perfect place for these kind of negative thought. We are all going to have them at some point but I think it’s how we desk with them that counts
I am a regular on the comparison trap train unfortunately. I wish I wasn’t and I am definitely improving at not doing this so often. Even though I have lost 2.5 stone and gained a lot of fitness I am still so lacking in self belief and confidence that the strength to stop comparing myself to others isn’t there. I am working on not doing this but it is hard especially when it comes to running, I find I suffer there a lot as I know I’m not great and I see the leaps and bounds that other friends have come on and forget that everyone is different and improves at different rates.
x
I’m glad that you are making progress in this area. It’s so easy to forget that we are all different and therefore our fitness levels will be different. Being different is what makes us who we are and you are amazing just the way you are.
I often find myself doing this with my running and wish I found it easier to change. I never allow myself an ‘off-day’ and put loads of pressure on myself to perform well every single time. I agree with Amanda – you never see the whole picture – everybody has their own insecurities and it’s up to us how much we let them take over our lives.
I used to be like that and really hard on my body. Thankfully I’ve changed my whole perspective where my fitness is concerned, but I still get days when I want to try and keep up with the others.
I think the gym is the worst place for that sort of thing as some people are slight posers! I only go to pump classes now, but we get people there like that. But generally those feelings are in your head and most people are not looking at you, they are focusing on their workout anyway
I think it is the mind playing tricks on us and a mix of paranoia sometimes. In the gym environment these feelings of anxiety seem to more heighten than anywhere else.
Urgh yes I know exactly how you feel about the gym and the clothes people wear. I never really put too much thought into what I wear, apart from functionality (e.g. will this chafe? Will I be cool enough?) I think people who look like they’ve spent a lot of effort to look good at the gym need to reevaluate why they’re at the gym!!