A few weeks ago, I was out on a shopping trip with my family and we were all having such a lovely time. We picked up some gorgeous new summer clothes for Aiden and enjoyed a big feast for lunch. However, these happy vibes almost unraveled when it came to shopping for some jeans for myself.
Normally, Zara is my shopping Mecca, I just love their effortless, simple and elegant style and really like their jeans too. I spotted a nice pair of ripped jeans, something that I wouldn’t usually be drawn to, but these weren’t ripped too much like some others that I had seen. Looking through the pile on the stand I managed to find my size and headed to the dressing room.
Full of excitement at the thought of treating myself (doesn’t happen very often these days), I was eager to try them on and see how they looked. Honestly, it was a struggle to get them over my thighs, but I persevered – sucked everything and prayed that the button fastens. I did a little happy dance when it did, however, I caught my reflection in the mirror. The jeans were super tight, making my thighs look bigger than they actually are, I had a muffin top and a small pouch because the waistband was digging into my belly.
Well, talk about a crisis of confidence! In the past, I would have been in denial and bought the jeans anyway, no matter how uncomfortable they felt on. Then there would be the task of trying to disguise the fact that they were too small and feeling insecure when I wore them. Things like wearing baggy tops, walking around with my belly sucked in or contorting my body in some way to hide the lumps and bumps would have been my key strategies.
Not this time, I was determined to feel comfortable in my clothes rather than a stuffed turkey. The simple solution was to go up a size, which would have freaked me out a few years ago. I tried on the next size up and instantly felt better. There was no battle to get them on and I didn’t have to hold my breath to fasten the button. Also, I instantly noticed that I could move my body more freely without feeling restrained by the fabric.
Since this crisis of confidence, I’ve come to realise that there is no shame in going up a dress size. I’m tired of trying to change my body in order to fit the clothes. Instead, I’m now in the mindset that there is nothing wrong with my body and I don’t need to morph into something I’m not just to make the jeans fit. I’m now completely oblivious to the size labels in clothes and go with how they feel on my body.
Size isn’t everything and I felt inspired after reading an article by the fabulous Jes Baker. Our bodies are not designed to stay the same over time, whether it’s changed through weight gain or aging. I’ve put on a little weight recently, hence the increase in jean size and in the process of acceptance. However, a weight gain or going up a dress size doesn’t mean that I’m less worthy of respect, can’t feel fabulous or my value as a person has diminished.
Yes, I had to go up a dress size.
So what?
It can be hard to accept yourself in today’s society! There are pressures everywhere, but you’ve written a thought provoking post. I’m going to check out Jes’ post too, now 🙂
Acceptance is one of the most difficult things to d.. In fact, I’m still trying… But in the end, I am who I am…
I love this, I have never been the thinnest person and my mobility issues have only made it worse, I am still not at peace with my size I hope to make it there one day though.
It’s so true! For years I bought ill fitting clothes just to hang onto a certain size whereas now I am so much better at trying on several sizes and seeing what looks and feels best!
I have so much love for this post. I’m so pleased you managed to be compassionate towards yourself and reach for the comfortable size.
I’m a 12/14 and I can’t even get my leg in to most Zara clothes so I tend to stay out of it but it’s a real shame because like you I love their stuff.
V ❤️
I don’t worry about sizes, after all they are just guides and will vary from brand. Primark have the most ridiculous sizing ever, im usually a 12 and the only jeans that would fit me there were a 20. I didn’t let it get me down
Totally agree, size isn’t everything and can vary in so many places too. I am happy with myself
I found I’m a different size in different shops so have started to stop fretting and just buy what is comfortable!
I find that there’s such an inconsistency is sizes not just between shops but within one shop that I used to be like you were and worried to go up a size and I just wouldn’t buy something but now I don’t mind as much x
I hate that stores do not have the same size and vary from one to another. getting the size that fits comfortably is the right thing to do I think – not point wearing clothes that are not comfy.
I really hate clothes shopping, because I find that it is the style that fits me, not the size. So I can try one item on in a particular size, fits fine, but find another item in the same shop, in the same size and it doesn’t fit. I then give up, go home and cry. So you’re right. The number on the clothes does not matter, it is how it fits. How it looks, and more importantly how it makes you feel.
I find I have to wear so many different sizes depending on where I’m shopping. It doesn’t bother me anymore but it used to really affect my confidence x
Love this! It’s so good for us all to remember this every now and again. We are not judged by a dress size!!!
Absolutely! 🙂
I love that you promote body confidence because you are right it does not matter if you go up a dress size! After all its better to be comfortable, no matter what your size is! x
So what indeed! The amount of importance people put on a number (myself included) can be shocking!
It’s bonkers that we assign our self-worth to a number that doesn’t matter.
grear post. I used to kid myself that I’d gone up a size because i liked my clothes a bit looser but in reality It was because they actually fit me a size up!
Thank you! 🙂
I love this. After all that size is just a made up number. It doesn’t actually mean anything. It doesn’t help that shops seem to size things completely differently. I can be anything from a size 8 to a size 16 depending on the shop
A few people have mentioned the crazy sizing in the shops. It doesn’t make shopping any easier.
great post! i use to be so obsessed with numbers and took it to heart when certain stores doesn’t fit as expected and have to size up or two. but in the end, it’s their horrendous sizing.
The sizing is crazy and so varied depending on where you go. There’s nothing wrong with your body at all.
A good post. I am struggling in between two sizes and it is really difficult but i am trying not to let it affect my self worth!
Good for you Angela. Just try to remember that it’s just a number.
Also, what’s in a dress size anyway. A size 8 in Top Shop is most definitely not a size in Marks. And sometimes a size 8 in Topshop is not the same as another size 8 top there either!
Isn’t it crazy how varied sizes are from shop to shop. It makes shopping so difficult.
My girlfriend (basically wife) went up 4 dress sizes since we’ve been together. She thought she was unattractive but I told her she was just “happy fat”, and that she shouldn’t care because it hasn’t made a difference. She’s as beautiful as ever!
All women need to marry a guy like you! Love this.
Size up, size down, for me the important is to be healthy and respect my body 🙂
xx Raquel
Hell yes to this!
Exactly, so what? There’s no shame in going up (or down) a dress size. As long as you’re happy and healthy, then that’s all that matters x
I couldn’t have said it any better myself.
What a lovely post. This is the kind of attitude that I want my daughter growing up to appreciate, there is far too much pressure on young people nowadays.