For this week’s #SelfCareDiaries installment I would like to introduce Emma Cossey, a freelancer, and coach who runs a community called The Freelance Lifestyle. Emma is my go-to for all things business and freelancing as she is a fountain of knowledge on this topic. Her podcast The Freelancer’s Teabreak is full of short and snappy tips, news and discussions about freelancing. It’s one of my favourite business podcasts because it doesn’t require an hour of my time yet it’s still packed with informative nuggets.
What I love about the community that Emma has created is that it’s super supportive, no question is too stupid and it’s achievable, none if this chasing a 6-figure salary that you see thrown around on Facebook so often. She’s also massive on self care for freelancers too, so I thought that it would be great to pick her brains about how self care looks in her life as a freelancer and mum too.
Over to you Emma…
What does self care mean to you?
I really believe the whole idea behind ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’, even more so since becoming a mum. Self care to me means being kind to yourself and make sure that you’re prioritising yourself so that you can better help others.
Do you have any self care rituals/practices that really anchor your day?
Mindful tea drinking! I try to really take a break when having a cup of tea. If I can, I also do meditation, some EFT, if I’m dealing with challenging emotions or need a boost, and getting outside, makes a big difference. The easiest way though is to stick on some music and dance around with my toddler. I also refuse to feel guilty about having a nap. And gratitude – I often do a mini list of gratitude when I’m in the car, especially if I’m stuck in traffic!
What does your morning routine look like?
It’s much easier now my son sleeps in a little longer, so I tend to get up before him so I can make a cup of tea in peace. I try to get things ready for the day then, so I might pack his nursery bag and outfit, get myself ready and make a To Do list. Having that pocket of time to myself in the morning makes all the difference. There are plenty of days when he’s up first though, and that can feel a bit like I’m constantly trying to catch up!
How do you make time for self care?
Getting up earlier than my son helps. My husband and I are both really supportive of each other on the self-care front, so if I need a nap or a bath, or he needs a shower or half an hour on his own, we’re comfortable asking for that (and fairly good at spotting if the other one needs it!)
During a challenging point in your life what key things got you through?
I had PND and anxiety after having Oscar, although I wasn’t diagnosed until he was two. For me, antidepressants really helped, but I put off asking for help for a long time because of all the negative press around them. My experience of them has been hugely positive. But I also needed to pair that with other positive changes for long-term benefits. Using EFT and coaching to tackle some of the concerns and emotions I was facing. Journalling to get things off my chest rather than bottling them up. Getting out of the house, even when I wanted to just stay on the sofa. And reaching out – both to my real life friends, my online friends and making new friends through apps like Mush (a sort of Tinder for mum friends).
What’s in your self care toolkit? Which items bring you most comfort?
A journalling app, a good blanket, a really well-made cup of tea (I have mine shamelessly milky), napping, cuddles, really upbeat music and time away from my phone to read.
What quote really resonates with you and why?
“Life is what happens when you put down your phone”.
I’m trying to cut down my phone use at the moment, and I’ve realised that the best moments in my life happen when I’m not on my phone – and yet I spend far too much time on it! Isn’t that crazy?
What are you currently working on? Anything that you would like to share?
I’m just about to launch The Freelance Lifestash, a monthly membership of tools, templates, resources, and interviews for freelancers who want to take their business seriously, but still have fun. I’ll be announcing details in my weekly newsletter, which you can join here:
www.freelancelifestyle.co.uk/newsletter.
Thanks so much, Emma! I hope you loved this weeks #SelfCareDiaries installment, you can check out the last edition with Vicky Shilling here.
What journalling app do you use? I think we could all do with cutting down on phone usage in this day and age!
Some really wonderful tips there. Self care is so important, and so sadly lacking in this day and age. Love that last quote too. Very true!
I loved this and it made me think about my self care routine – I don’t actually have one! I really need to make more time for myself!
I try and free up some time for me once a week, whether that be a nice relaxing bath or just some R&R without the small people around
She’s so right about the phase you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re running on empty you’re no good to yourself or others x
Wow, I can relate to Emma so much. Self care is vitally important and even more so if you are freelancing while also being a full time parent. It can be hard to find time for yourself, I love the idea of a peaceful cup of tea! That sounds like an easy practice to put in place.
Mindful tea drinking! somehow that one strikes a chord with me and seems an easy enough practice to start with. I think i’ll give it a try.
I don’t really have a self care routine myself. I should though – I am the one that does most things in our family so I should take a little time at least for myself.
I agree with Emma, self-care is so important and mums definitely need to have this ritual more so than most. I do love her self-care ritual