I’m a creature of habit and I like routine. When I’ve found my comfort zone with something I prefer to stay there as I like to feel secure. Having a daily routine helps me to create healthy habits, stay focused and is generally better for my wellbeing. I hate feeling out of sorts and in a muddle with things, organisation and planning are almost like second nature to me now.
A major focus of my routine was exercise, I love it and there is nothing like that adrenaline rush after a good workout. I used to workout 6 times a week for up to 90 minutes without fail – normally 30 minutes of cardio followed by a full hour of weight and stretches. I would squeeze in these workouts without fail, whether I was tired or ill didn’t matter. The guilt that I would experience if I’d strayed from my daily routine was too much. I would hate myself for failing and hate my body even more because it wasn’t functioning the way I wanted it to.
Obsessing over getting those six-pack abs then felt like a lifetime ambition. My life would suddenly be all rainbows and unicorns if I had a smaller ass and thinner thighs. Similarly, I thought I would feel better about myself if I could drop a dress size. I’ve never been overweight, but something about chasing being smaller was positively dreamy and life was surely better on the other side. Screw everything else, I worked out without fail without a second thought about what I was putting my poor body through. The fact that I was being driven by this addiction didn’t register with my brain and it became so bad that my husband almost missed his graduation because I had to workout before the ceremony. It had a massive grip on my life that I never realised then – hindsight is a wondrous thing, my friends!
Finding a balance in my life has been tricky and I’m always anxious that I will fall back into those dangerous and obsessive habits again, which is why I refuse to buy bathroom scales. I’ve come a long way since the early days of starting this blog and in some respects, I think I was hiding behind it. Looking back I can see that some of my ‘healthy habits’ were unhealthy. Falling into the clean eating trap is high up on the list and obsessing over everything I was eating is another. My exercise addiction is of course high up there too. Something drastically needed to change and it needed to happen fast!
If you’re following the paleo diet, not eating pasta, sugar and drinking juices all day long makes more space for your soul and fills your heart with joy, then that’s pretty amazing! However, if you reach a point where it’s not working for you anymore and it’s complete torture then the time has come to change your lifestyle. I knew that when I had crossed the territory of going to the gym because I thought it was the right thing to do and not because it was making me feel good it was time to stop b*llsh**ting myself and make that change.
I identified that I was over training and punishing my body with a hardcore routine in a quest to get tight abs, smaller bum, and thinner thighs. Alternatively, I adopted a more holistic approach towards exercise that was more attainable, gentler on my body and flexible to stop the guilt trips. I haven’t had a gym membership for over a year and I go through periods where I quit exercise altogether, but that’s OK; my body appreciates the rest and the gift of time to heal. I’m not going to become morbidly obese if I don’t exercise for a period of time. I’m currently doing a 30-Day Shred Challenge over in my Facebook group and each workout is only 20 minutes long, that’s just perfect for me and still gives me that endorphin rush that I love so much.
If I really wanted to I could probably have that taught washboard stomach and a bum like a pert peach, however, I know that the grueling effort to get there just isn’t worth risking my current happiness and positive mindset towards my body. I would never trade hours training in the gym for what I have now. I’ll take my keep curves and belly jiggle thank you very much and two fingers to anyone that takes issue with it!
Discovering my version of healthy has been a challenge and it’s not all peachy. I still have days where I struggle with body confidence issues and hate the way my clothes look on my body. I’m not immune to these days, but I am better equipped to deal with then than I once was. Having a baby turns your whole mindset and thought processes on its head. What was once important pales into significance compared to the little life you’ve bought into the world. On bad days, I always remind myself of all the positivity and love in my life and that really helps like nothing else.
Sometimes what we think is truly healthy actually becomes restricting, harmful and bad for our bodies. If you’ve opted to make certain lifestyle choices under the pretense of being healthy even though your body is screaming at you to stop, it’s time to get real. Redefining the barriers that you put on yourself and freeing up some space to be kind to your body is so important. Torturing your body and giving up your happiness because you think it’s the right thing to do isn’t worth it. You’re only given one body, be gentle and kind to it because she deserves it.
It’s not easy, is it. I spent a good six months over exercising, hard core training for my epic cycle ride and I was never more fit and I felt great, but not keeping up with it made me feel awful, and now I’ve just got so much work to do I’ve lost my fitness mojo. No idea where it went. I don’t want to work out right now, and you know what? That’s totally ok.
I agree that you can go overboard and get obsessed. That only stresses you out more and definitely goes against what you are trying to achieve. When you think of it as getting healthy opposed to the physical results most people strive for the pressure eases.
It’s amazing what we put our bodies through and so often they just keep taking it. I think that the healthy message gets lost a bit with the hype from the media, celebrities etc… and they often start to send out the wrong message about what healthy really is and means. Good on you, for recognising what healthy really means to you. Well done!
Lennae xxx
http://www.lennaesworld.com
This was a very interesting read. I used to be like you in that I felt so guilty if I didn’t exercise and I was focusing so much on getting great abs and losing weight that I didn’t enjoy it and it became such a chore! I recently started exercising first thing in the morning as I’ve been experiencing awful fatigue in the morning and mid-day and I noticed that exercise really helped with that. So now I exercise because I know it makes me feel good and I don’t worry about having to push myself and my aim is no longer to look ‘fit’ but rather to feel good. It’s all about finding what works for you and what makes you happy 🙂
Good for you for listening to your body and following what you think is best for it. Overtraining can be just as bad (or worse) as doing nothing! I wish you the best with your paleo diet and your health!
Beth || http://www.TheStyleBouquet.com
Thank you! Listening to your body is very important, although I’m not on the paleo diet. Ha!
Wow this is a perspective you don’t often hear! Kind of like me, I had so much trouble gaining weight whereas most people have the exact opposite struggle
Thanks Shane, I think it’s an important message to get out there.
I love having a routine in my life but yes I do feel the guilt when I don’t stick to it! I still go to the gym but I’ve found a healthy balance between work, gym and a social life. I agree with not buying scales…I would become obsessed with them!
Like with anything, finding a balance is so important, but can be so hard. I spent years over training and I am still suffering for it now.
Another great post! I definitely agree with you. I know a few people who seem to get so obsessed. I think exercise is a kind of control for some people. It is sad because it starts off as a healthy thing to lose weight and then you see people get almost “too thin”
I’ve never been interested in fitness and gyms, so it’s difficult for me to relate to these problems, though I appreciate that listening to your body is the best.
I’m totally not an exerciser! I’m trying to get into it but I wouldn’t want to become obsessed… its a fine line right?
Well done on recognising that something done for your health was actually adversely affecting it.
I am only now learning not to pressure myself too much, When my mind and body tell me to stop or to slow down, I now listen. My anxiety used to be through the roof for being to hard on myself. Now I learn to let go and do what is best for myself without stressing,
I can definitely get obsessed with things sometimes and need to take a step away to make sure I am looking after myself properly. It can for sure be hard to recognise that it is happening sometimes, so well done you! x
It sounds like you made the right decision for your situation. Exercise is part of health but we really do have to remind ourselves not to lose focus on everything else.
I struggle to keep a routine, but I have been healthier since reducing the amount of coffee I have in a day. I quit having excessive cups and replaced cravings with decaf. I also reduce the amount of milk and try to have almond or rice instead. It has made a big difference.
I am never convinced that anything you obsess over doing is not good for you, once I find my comfort zone I also like to stay in it and not move x
I always out pressure on myself – push myself to do a bit better, work a bit harder. You’re right – sometimes you need to give yourself some slack and “quit” in order to do better!
I’ve heard about the 30 day shred. Good for you for breaking the cycle and trying something different to your usual routine. Jo x
finding the balance is key. i over trained before and it was putting a strain on my body. and had to change up my routine
Great post, and actually something I think many very healthy people would struggle to understand in themselves.
I’m glad you listened to your body. You know your body better than anyone else.
I think whatever works for you is right in my opinion x
We think everything in moderation and you have to listen to your body occasionally too!
I don’t think I do enough exercise to ‘quit’ it in the first place! I do agree balance is important though – sometimes I feel like I’m pushing myself so hard at some things and need to take a step back.
I’ve seen quite a few people become obsessed with exercise and it can be pretty addictive once you get into it.
I personally believe in balance, I don’t really do ALOT of exercise but I’ve seen people get to obsessed and i find it quite worrying. The most important thing is if you’re happy.
Great post. I know for me that I love the exercise I’m doing right now – going to the gym and lifting weights and running make me feel good. BUT that’s not to say I always enjoy it and when I really don’t fancy it I don’t do it. I don’t feel tied to it. However I know I used to feel very chained to a certain routine or panicked if I missed a session but I’m not way more relaxed. And taking time off running does’t have quite as bad an impact on me. Basically I’ve chilled out!