We’ve all been there, including me, sometimes we can’t help comparing ourselves to others. Life can be so competitive sometimes and we get caught up in other people’s lives wishing perhaps that we had what they have. I think comparing yourself to someone else is as natural as any human emotion, no one is immune to it.
‘Comparison is the thief of joy‘ – I love this quote and think that it hits the nail on the head. Like many, I’ve become preoccupied with my deficiencies and it’s heartbreakingly sad that we are never satisfied with what we have. We compare houses, jobs, clothes, attractiveness, bodies, money and everything else in between, which in the end has a massive effect on lowering our self-esteem and encourages negative self-talk and harmful acts of self-sabotage.
While comparisons can be motivational and a source of personal development, they can also send us into a downward spiral of doubt and lead us to undermine our self-worth. Social media has provided us with another way to compare ourselves with other people, many whom we have never even met before. I think this makes it even more important to ensure we have a firm grip of ourselves and stop using friends and complete strangers as a way to measure our own successes.
Perhaps I’m not even qualified to talk on this topic, but as someone who like many has experienced it, I thought I would share some the ways that have helped me move away from this.
Be grateful for your own successes
We all come from different walks of life and this gives each and every one of us different perspectives and experiences. No matter how small or large, you are all armed with the potential to give so much and give a great deal. By looking back at your own successes, whatever they maybe can inspire you to move forward and to pursue even more greatness.
Sound out the triggers in your life
As previously mentioned, social media has a lot to answer for when it comes to falling into a comparison trap. Sometimes it’s better to remove these triggers from your life by muting or unfollowing certain social media accounts so that you sound out all that negative noise. This way, rather than concentrating on other people’s lives you begin to focus on your own wants and needs to begin living a truly fulfilled and inspired life.
Be kind to yourself
As humans, I think that we are so hard on ourselves. We bitch about ourselves when we get something wrong or when our bodies fail us. Be gentle with yourself, you can do anything you want in life but you can’t do everything. Be gentle with yourself and remember that you are always trying to do the best you can You are enough and worthy of great things!
Transform your competitiveness into appreciation
Competition does have a place in this world in the right setting, however, it can become overwhelming and on some occasions harmful to your wellbeing. Rather than trying to compete with your peers and get higher on the ladder, appreciate their successes and use it as inspiration in your own life.
Remind yourself that no one is perfect
It’s so important to remember that no one is perfect. So easily, I have been pulled in my the lure of the seemingly perfect lives that are put out there on social media. Now I’m more drawn to people who keep it real rather than those hiding under a blanket of unicorns and candy floss.
Of course, wanting to grow and reach greater heights is nothing to be snarled at, in fact, it’s inspirational and well worth striving for. One thing that always gets to me when I start to compare myself to others is how far ‘behind’ I feel, but I now reinterpret this with a more positive perspective. I’m not behind at all, I have a healthier view of myself and show gratitude for my successes. There is room in the world for everyone, we all offer something unique and special in our own little way.
I’m pretty hard on myself – well not pretty hard – very hard and I’m learning to recognise my own success and growth because my journey is just that my journey. Great post!
I think being kind to oneself is so vital. Whenever I’m tempted to be mean, I just think, would I talk to a friend that way?
I am awful for comparing myself it is a habit I really need to break, I am going to try some of these techniques here’s hoping the help!
I try very hard not to compare myself to others because I don’t know all their choices. If we are happy with our lives, then other things should not matter. x
I cannot stress enough how important it is to be kind to yourself! Both mentally and physically! Thank you!
What an inspiring read! I couldn’t agree more. I find people are too competitive. So and so is getting married, so I should too. It’s just not your time, it might mean you get that amazing job, while they’re taking time out to have kids etc. Everything happens in a different order. Easier said than done sometimes though!
I always tell people that the grass might look greener, but it’s because people spend time on their own grass, rather than looking at others.
Thank you for such a great post. I’m always comparing myself to others, it’s my worst trait. Jo x
Great post I’m definitely too hard on myself and comparing myself to others its a habit that most people can’t help but do.
Brilliant post – I have to say it’s really hard to not compare to others when you feel you’re doing the same if not more hard work but you do have to consider everything and think about yourself.
These are really great tips Jemma, I know I have been there and it took me a while to stop comparing and start appreciating their good fortune and just focus on my own
It’s so hard not to compare yourself to others. My mummy focuses on what she can bring to the table and her own successes. Sound advice x
Totally agree with this list, its important to remeber your own success too. I have made a little note book of what I have achieved on my blog so far
Thanks for sharing this post. I have to constantly remind myself to be grateful of where I am, what I have and who I am. Thanks for the reminder today.
I’m terrible for doing this. I’m terrible for comparing myself now to myself 20 years ago. As my 40th birthday approaches I keep bursting into tears because my youth is gone. Life will never be the same but I need to start focusing on the positives more. It’s not easy sometimes.
This is a really lovely post. I often compare myself to others, but really try hard not too.
I admit that I am guilty of this as well. I am probably harder on myself than anyone else. I just want to make sure I am doing a great job at everything I do. But sometimes I do have to keep it in check and as you said, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes sometimes.
This is so important! I’m so guilty of comparing myself to others, but I feel like I’ve grown in confidence a lot this year. I love your blog header by the way!
I am so guilty of this. Especially as I try so hard and barely move a lb, and sit next to someone who has lost over 6 stone in the last 6 months. It is hard, but I keep trying to pick myself up.
Great tips. It’s hard but I always try and remember that you’re only in competition with yourself x
Very good motivational post. Sometimes caparison may be a good thing, but it easily goes out of control.
We’re always our own harshest critics, and I think women are particularly guilty of this. We definitely need to step back and pat ourselves on the back occasionally, especially since there are so many amazing women KILLING it at the moment! 😉 x
I know I can be very hard on myself but when you get into that cycle it’s hard to get out of it.