Today’s society seems to be about living life in the fast-lane. No matter how much you love your job and no matter how much it consumes you, forgetting to focus on yourself could eventually be counter-productive – the less time that we make for ourselves can have a huge impact on our health and wellbeing.
Saying ‘no’ can be one of the hardest things, especially when we are doing our best to impress. The commitments pile up and all of a sudden you are drowning in a sea of tasks that seem never-ending. There is no guilt to be found in admitting that you’re feeling rundown, you love your role at your job, as a parent or caregiver, but sometimes it can be overwhelming. I’m sure a lot of us can relate to this scenario. I have said ‘yes’ to too much in the past, only to be left with a to-do list as long as my arm and felt completely consumed by it all. Taking a step back, being selfish and focusing on ourselves now and then can be one of the most selfless acts that you can do for yourself.
When I’m talking about being selfish for your own benefit, I don’t mean that you become a complete b**tch and give everyone two fingers (although sometimes this may be warranted!). God forbid, that’s not my point at all. Some time to myself no matter how short allows me to indulge my passions, spend time with the people who I love, reorganise and regroup my thoughts and generally just relax. Time to yourself in today’s world is such a blessing and putting yourself first can work wonders for your stress levels and mental health. If you can, schedule a day off or half-a-day where you simply focus on you. You become your main priority and you spend some time doing the things that you love.
Taking time out for yourself doesn’t have to make a hole in your purse either. Not convinced? Well, sitting down reading a book with a cup of tea can be just as effective as going to a spa. Other budget-friendly ways of taking time out could be going for a run, yoga, baking, a walk in the park, making a coffee, watching a movie, a home pamper session or a night in with the girls or loved ones – anything that gives you that feeling of escape.
I already know that my little one is going to keep me on my toes with round the clock care and breastfeeding, let’s not beat about the bush, it’s going to be a challenge. Haley wrote a lovely post about how making time for yourself as a mother is so very important and something that I intend to practise as time allows. Just a snippet in the day or week to yourself can make all the difference to your all round happiness and your body and mind will only thank you for it later.
Do you prioritise yourself now and then? Do you feel guilty for doing this?
How do you practise being selfless to yourself?
Great post Jemma! Taking time for your self is really important and something that I need to practice more otherwise I tend to get worked up and stressed.
Thanks Elisa!
Great post! I think you have to be ‘selfish’ now and again. I think it benefits your family in the long run because if you don’t give yourself ‘me time’ you will be moody, stressed etc so I think having time to yourself makes you a better parent and keeps you sane! X
This is so true. A lot of people have mentioned that taking time for yourself benefits others too.
My absolute favourite way to take time for myself is to read a good book. I’ve been doing it all my life and it still feels amazing!
Thanks for a great post.
There’s nothing like a good book for some quality escapism.
great advice! I always struggle to say no and end up saying I will do certain things I dont want to do.
Sophie
xx
http://www.pocockins.co.uk
You are not alone Sophie.
I think between Ben and me we have a great balance. We love doing things together, like cycling, going out for nice meals and seeing friends, but we also love doing things separately like him playing the Xbox or watching his kind of programmes while I read or blog or whatever. I find that works in terms of us finding our own “me time” without issue.
You seem to have it covered Anna. I like the fact that you both have that balance too.
Well-said Jemma! X
Thanks Karina.
Great post Jemma! It can sometimes seem like a selfish thing to do but taking time to yourself is so important!
Thanks Claire!!! Yes, it definitely a hard one to get your head around.
I love how your thinking about this even before your little one is here!!! Great post! I often times just take a time out!!! Reading a magazine cover to cover feels like such a huge treat!!!
I think it’s so important as us mum’s need some time out now and then.
I make lots of time for myself to be honest and I don’t feel guilty about it. We all need me time and if I didn’t I would go insane!
Good for you Tamzin!!! 🙂
I have been trying to get better on this and actually ensure I see friends and have my own time. Baths are great for this and I have recently gotten into reading fiction books again not just nutrition ones!
I always forget how nice and relaxing a bath can be. Definitely need to have more baths to relax.
This is great advice – sometimes in the whirlwind of things, we forget to be good to ourselves! <3
Thanks Shipra.
Sitting down with a book and cup of tea is one of my favorite things to do. I don’t feel guilty for giving these moments to myself as long as my family is taken care of.
Exactly! Sometimes you have to do right by you and not feel guilty about it.
Love this post! It’s really hard to say no to people so we need a little kick in the pants every once in a while to remind us to take care of ourselves too!
So true Brenda!!!
I agree that sometimes we need to be selfish and do what’s best for us. My boyfriend and I recently broke up because he needed to be selfish and focus on his schoolwork right now – and although it’s hard being the one on the other side of it, I understand and admire his decision to do so.
Sorry to hear that Caroline. I think your acceptance is amazing.
This is brilliant! I’ve never looked at it this way!
Thanks Ashley!
GREAT POST!
Thank you.
Ohhh yeah. Saying no is really hard for me – I want to please everyone. And yet, then I find myself overextended and exhausted, with no juice left in the batteries.
I try and give myself at least a couple nights a week where I don’t plan anything, so I can just go home and veg. This includes taking a break from grocery shopping, cleaning, and anything else that needs doing – unless I feel like it, and it’s at my house. No car rides for me. 🙂
Sounds like you have got it sorted Meagan. Quiet nights at home doing nothing can be very relaxing.
Taking time for yourself is so important- especially as you grow older and become parents.
Absolutely! 🙂
Great post! I don’t think it is selfish for us to take care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, then we aren’t in the position to be able to properly look after our family either.
Thanks Dannii. It’s so true, that in order to right by others we need to look after ourselves too.
I definitely feel guilty for “putting myself first” and saying no to things. Thanks for this post – it’s empowering in all the right ways to modern women.
Glad you found this post empowering Cailin. 🙂
I’ve been trying to work on this more, I definitely have a hard time putting myself first, but I think all women do!
I think we feel that we have to be ‘on it’ all of the time and feel guilty when we’re not.
Making time for yourself is SO important! I used to focus so much on the needs of others that I’d neglect myself — which caused me to become stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. I’ve found by worrying about myself first, I’m able to help others more and be more present. Great post!
It’s a really good point about looking after yourself will help those around you too. 🙂
I totally agree – I love reading a good book or a magazine or something to relax and take time for myself. Just a glass of wine in the evening is so lovely too!
Katie <3
It’s always the little things that can help us, like a simple glass of wine. 🙂
Not only is this fab advice, taking time out for yourself is one of the best things you can do (and something I’m going to start trying!) BUT I also absolutely adore the book in the photo!
Ahhh I totally love that book too – did you see the film?
I have a hard time with saying no to people but I have been getting better at it. It’s had to be selfish 🙂
It’s really hard, but sometimes it has to be done.
Awesome post! It really is important to take time for yourself! People always say, you can’t make others happy if you aren’t happy. I think to find total happiness, you have to be selfish sometimes.
That’s a really good point Avie! You have to be happy within yourself to be able to make others happy. There is nothing wrong with being ‘selfish’.
Great post, and great reminder to take time for yourself. Something I think most of us mommies forget to do! 🙂
Thanks Erica! I’m definite fling to try and take some time for myself every now and then.
Very well said.
Thanks! 🙂
I agree with this that you have to put yourself as a priority for your health.
It’s so important! 🙂
It is SO important to take time for yourself! We need time to recharge our own batteries!
Definitely! I think that we forget this sometimes.
You have to put yourself first, and moms forget that sometimes and/or feel guilty. I’ve learned over the years to make plenty of time for myself, and I feel more centered and focused doing so which rubs off on my family. 🙂
I can totally relate to this. I love being able to take time for me and slow down sometimes.
I was actually thinking about this the other day! Love your insight on life!
I think just getting coffee by myself is one of the best things I can do to clear my head. When I am stressed out, just 30 minutes alone helps!
Great post, Jemma — We all need to remember to care for ourselves. It is important to love ourselves too.
It’s so important to take care of yourself too! I entirely agree with this. I feel like so many people skip out on “me time” because they don’t think it’s important, but it’s what keeps us sane!
I agree. If we don’t take time for ourselves and take care of ourselves, how are we going to give time to others and take care of them.
You think you feel guilty now? Wait until you have your baby. It gets even harder to do for yourself. That’s why I am so glad you seem to have a handle on this now. When you do for yourself you are so much better to everyone else, too. It is hard as a woman to remember this. Men don’t seem to have this problem.
I have such a hard time saying no. With our wedding coming up I’m feeling myself standing up for what I want a lot more though. People try to sway me certain ways and it’s made the planning process a little annoying, so saying no and doing what is best for the both of us has been beneficial for my sanity!
I used to be a people pleaser, in my younger day that is. Now that I’m in my late twenties I’ve learned that it’s okay to say “No” and put myself first because noone else will consider my thoughts or feelings. My current workplace resonates with this post, it’s very much a dog eat dog environment, everyone is looking out for themselves and there is a lack of cohesion. At first this bothered me, as assertive as I am now, I’m also very generous and a good team player. This tends to go out of the window at my workplace, too many selfish people there, so I’ve now learned to adapt in order to protect myself until I eventually leave.
I think this is the biggest lesson some people (myself included!) need to learn! I’ve been working on it more and more as the years go by. Taking care of yourself is most important!
My new year’s resolution in 2013 was to be as selfish as possible.
It was an awesome year. 😉
I couldn’t agree more! I know a lot of people who find it hard to say no and then wind up feeling overwhelmed and insecure- for me the only way to feel like I can get over the hurdles life throws my way is to take time out and have that “me” time! Great post, it’s nice to have a reminder to do it more often too! 🙂