This post is long overdue, but it’s dedicated to every woman out there who hates her body. Every time you look in the mirror, the negative self-talk and body bashing begins. You wish with all your might that you were slimmer because your clothes will look better and you will instantly feel like a million dollars and everything in your life with just fall into place.
Dieters forever have it drilled into them that they will feel better about themselves after they lose a few pounds or reach that magical goal weight. It’s not your fault. Society has done a good job of upholding the value of being slimmer and has taught us that changing our bodies is the key foundation to happiness and realising our own self-worth. These set of principles are everywhere, it’s no surprise that we often fall into the dieting trap and this mindset can be hard to shift.
I’ve been there and got the t-shirt. Many moons ago, I used to tell myself that I would be so much happier if I was slimmer. For those who aren’t familiar with my story, I come from a past consisting of a disordered relationship with food in my teens and early 20s. Restricting and over analysing everything I ate and obsessively weighing myself in a bid to become healthier. I struggled with food guilt, body image issues, low self-esteem and a general feeling that I wasn’t worthy of good things.
Thankfully, I’ve come a long way since those dark days and it’s been a long journey to get to where I am today. I’m not perfect, I still have bad days, but when the negative self-talk starts in my head I have word with myself and re-write the script.
It’s so easy to look in the mirror and point out everything that you hate about your body. However, if you want it to be it can be just as easy to celebrate everything that you love about your body too. We’re far too quick to pull ourselves down which generates a torturous relationship with our bodies. Let’s be honest, we’re only ever given one body in this lifetime, so we might as well love and honour the one that we’ve got.
Dieting not only creates a fear around food but also teaches us to hate our bodies. We become transfixed on trying to look like someone else, that cover girl with the washboard abs and perfect thigh gap. I’m not bashing naturally slim frames, that’s how you’re supposed to be and you look beautiful like that. Nevertheless, the diet industry makes us think that healthy only comes in one size and it’s so sad that we all rush to try to be like that.
Let’s get real, no matter how hard you diet to try to look like that slimmer girl you’re never going to look like her. Even if you ate exactly the same foods and did the same fitness program, it’s genetically impossible! Her body is hers and your body is yours. Again, it’s just another way that the effed up dieting dogma makes us feel like crap, conditioning us to think that we have to morph into something else to fiercely love ourselves.
Despite what the diet culture may tell us, being smaller doesn’t make you more worthy nor is it going to make you happier. So many women lose tons of weight and they’re still not happy. Why? Because they haven’t addressed the key issues about why they hate their bodies so much. Dieting doesn’t challenge the root cause of the problem, which is why many women after reaching their goal weight are still miserable and still hate their bodies.
Loving your body doesn’t come from trying to achieve the perfect body or following the perfect diet, it’s about learning to accept the one that you’ve already got. Just like the wonderful Taryn Brumfitt (I have a girl crush on this woman!) reminds us, “your body is not an ornament, it’s the vehicle to your dreams” as such it should be loved and shown so much gratitude for all it does for us.
Instead of torturing and punishing our bodies with diets let’s move forward and nourish and give it the respect it deserves. Let us, stop the negative self-talk about our bodies and commit to loving ourselves more. Let’s commit to eating freely, loving ourselves and becoming the happiest and healthiest version of ourselves at whatever size this may be. Let’s say no to diets and promote a healthy balance full of vibrant wholesome food, which includes cake!
Life doesn’t begin when you start a diet or drop a dress size, in fact, life begins when you ditch the diet culture altogether.
So, what’s the secret to loving your body?
Acceptance.
It’s be years to get the stage where I am with my body. While I’m not at the full acceptance level yet, I am getting there and love my body far more than I used to x
It takes time, but it sounds like you’re on the right track.
I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I’m the biggest I’ve been as I’ve recently had a baby….but I’ve just created life so I should be pretty proud of my body for doing that. Jo x
I think it’s always important to remember how amazing our bodies are no matter what our size.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to “love” my entire body, but there are parts of it that I’m a fan of 😛
Celebrate the things that you love and you’re off to a great start. I think we all have things that we dislike about our bodies.
I think its hard in some cases to change our ways of thinking and love the extra rolls we develop over time.
Absolutely! It’s not easy accepting the changes that our bodies experience as we go through life, but so important.
You are absolutely right, you should learn to love your body and just aim to eat healthy instead of dieting. Good body comes from regular exercise and healthy eating lifestyle.
Thanks, Nayna! It’s definitely not just about dieting.
Well put, I too have a difficult perception of my body because I have BDD but I am learning to appreciate it as you are as well. It is wonderful to see how far you have come since your 20’s x
I wish I actually loved my body the way that I should – the way that I pretend to do so that my daughter will continue to love hers. I’m working on it everyday. Great post.
We’re all a work in progress lovely!
We’re all a work in progress lovely!
I’m really bad for this, especially at the moment when I seem to have gained so much weight lately!
Weight gain is can make us feel the worse, but think of it as there being more of you to love.
I say embrace your body shape no matter what, everyone’s body changes mine certainly did after pregnancy and never fully went back but that’s ok, just lovecwhat you’ve got
You have such a great attitude to body image and change! Go girl!
Love your post thanks for sharing hun 🙂
I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I hate being overweight. But I do love being short (ft10). I’m always in conflict with my body image. As I got older it hasn’t been easy. Thank you for this post. xx
I have settled myself in my own mind that I’ll never be conventially skinny but there are other things I want to do in order to love my body x
My mummy hates the way she looks after giving birth. Some days she looks ok but other days she loathes it. She on the right path to acceptance now though x
Your mummy shouldn’t hate the way her body looks. Her body did what it needed to do so that she could carry and birth you. 🙂
I am at a low point of my life at the moment. There’s nothing I really like about my body. But I remember when I lost three and a half stone and that’s when I started to say good points about my body.
So sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough patch. Hugs! x
I can definitely relate to this. Since having a baby I see my body in a totally different way. It is amazing, it isn’t just want it looks like.
Pregnancy and labour really makes you appreciate how powerful your body is!
I’m very plus size but I love my body and myself exactly as I am. I do like to work out, etc but I do it because I love myself, not to punish myself. My life really began when I stopped caring what others thought about me! xxx
I think your message is so positive and we need to see more of it! 🙂
I’m not sure what the secret to loving your body is, but I know it’s something I’ve always struggled with. It’s something I’m trying to figure out constantly.
Acceptance and embracing your body is definitely the key to loving your body.
Such a tough one, particularly when you’ve grown up being indoctrinated into a certain way of thinking – my mum is a total body loather and the judgement about mine and my sister’s size can feel overwhelming at times. It’s something I battle with every day but try to remember what you’ve said – I’m focusing on nourishing my body with wholefoods and trying to think less negatively about my size! Thanks for sharing.
It’s hard when you’ve grown up around body loathing at it feels like the norm and difficult to break the habit. Glad that you’ve made a break through!
Greta post, Jemma. And you’re absolutely right. Being smaller/slimmer/etc. etc. is not the road to happiness. Happiness is far more deep.
Thanks, Anna! There is so much more to happiness and feeling well than your dress size.