Empowering women to embrace their bodies and love themselves more is something that I’m majorly passionate about. With my own struggles and journey to loving my body better, I know first hand the rewarding and life enhancing benefits that self acceptance brings. Loving yourself is similar to having an epiphany, at this moment you realise that actually I am deserving, I am worthy of my own and others love and you start to take care of yourself on a deeper level.
The body positive movement is a fantastic achievement, that unites and inspires women to accept their bodies regardless of their weight, dress size, race, job, abilities, sexual orientation and so much more. I have so much respect for the bigger voices in this movement (like Taryn Bruffit) who are fighting for representation for more diverse body types in the media, promoting the idea of health at every size and encouraging women to be kinder and more forgiving towards their bodies.
Representation of all bodies is essential to help break down the walls that the dieting mentality has created. The diet culture has birthed so many untruths about what being healthy actually means because it mainly focuses on aesthetics and ignores your emotional health altogether. It promotes the idea that you can only accepted as healthy by society if you are a certain weight or a perfect size. I would like to argue that your perfect weight can be at any size because being healthy goes beyond this, it’s about how you feel on the inside too. Additionally, the one size fits all approach is a failure because we are all different and I admire the body positive movement for highlighting these issues with its representation of diversity.
Even though I’m passionate and proud to be part of the body positive moment in my work, sometimes I do feel like an outsider and it has contributed to more to my insecurities, but admittedly perhaps that says more about me than the movement itself. When you think about body positivity, you tend to think of a specific body type, a large curvaceous woman with rolls. I have put on a little weight over the past few months, however my body type is nothing like the silhouette of the women who the movement promotes. This has made me feel slightly on edge and thoughtful about whether my voice actual counts at all in the body positive world.
Perhaps I’ve got this all wrong and I will hold my hands up if so, I’m still learning and travelling on my journey of self acceptance. However, this is my truth and I feel that I need to get it out there.
My body type probably doesn’t need to be represented as much in the media. I honestly don’t know what it’s like to have rolls, unless I sit down and slouch. I was also scared about writing on this topic because I don’t want to offend anyone or be the ‘normal sized girl’ moaning about being an outsider and make plus size body shapes feel bad. Nevertheless, I still have moments of anxiety surrounding my body image, all women do whatever their size.
There are times when I look in the mirror and scrutinise the way I look or wish that I was smaller to stop the fold of skin hanging over my jeans like it is right now. Weighing myself isn’t something I do, but I can tell that I’ve put on some extra weight due the tightness of some of my clothes, but I’m learning to accept this. Although I am flawed and always working on myself, there are times when I don’t practice what I preach and hate the way I look. I feel insecure and wonder about the rights that I have to serve others on these subjects if I am still healing myself. However, I take comfort in the fact that even though I might not have my sh*t together and even when I’m struggling I still have a voice and I can still be of great service to this world.
The body positive movement isn’t about one size, it’s about every size. It’s about celebrating the diversity of women and the human body. It’s there to empower all women to embrace their bodies and realise that their perfect weight is whatever size they feel happiest because their weight doesn’t determine their size or their destiny.
Even still, whatever your size, body shape, race or abilities, sadly every woman walking this earth will at some point in her life experience feel resentful towards their bodies. Although I may feel like an outsider because my body type is perhaps under represented in the body positive movement I’m still aware that there are women out there who have a ‘normal’ body type are looking for compassion in women of a similar shape to tell them that there is nothing wrong with their body and that they are beautiful just the way they are. At times when I feel unworthy to be part of this incredible movement, I try to tell myself that I do have a voice and message that is worthy to be heard because actually I’m sharing my own personal unique experiences that may resonate with others out there. This is why I do what I do.
P.S. Thank you for making it to the end to this post, it wasn’t supposed to be this long, so thank you for sticking with it!
Very worrying that you are promoting a movement which does not encourage healthy lifestyles and lets people live in disillusion. Why are you not highlighting health risks associated with a lifestyle of just “accepting what I am”? Upsetting and very self-centred.
Not at all. The body positive movement isn’t about telling everyone to become overweight. It’s about celebrating body diversity and breaking down barriers that the diet culture has created. Women of every size deserve to love themselves, take care of themselves and have the respect of others regardless of their weight. I think it’s rather upsetting that you’ve totally missed the point.
I have to say this comment strikes me as the reaction of someone who has read what they wanted to, not what was there. And who is feeling defensive. I think it’s admirable, and actually a very necessary and overdue, conversation to encourage – that women have the right to respect regardless of size and that they shouldn’t succumb to society’s judgements when society doesn’t have all (or any) of the information about that person.
I think Jemma’s realism and honesty is refreshing. But above all her motivation to help further the dialogue and encourage readers to more accept themselves – whatever their personal situations – should be congratulated. It certainly shouldn’t be criticised.
Thanks so much Rachel! I definitely feel that the point of the article was completely missed here. Absolutely agree with you that we need to open up this conversation more and that women deserve respect regardless of their size or any other distinction/label that society throws at them.
This is beatiful you are beautiful. I have been so insecure for many years about my body plus bullying and people cussing me about being skinny. I have never really loved myself and i am learning now. But i always get why you complaining your skinny etc etc. Its like its just as hard to hate yourself no matter what size. So i can relate to when you say you dont want to offend because people will say your normal size. But helping people to understand and start to love themself is the most important. So thanks for this post x
http://www.ontheothersideofdepression.com
Thank you for your lovely comment Jackie. Absolutely, whatever your size or weight us women are always so hard on ourselves. I think it’s important to recognise that we are deserving of love and worthy of greatness and not let these negative feelings hold us back.
See, I don’t think you’re an outsider at all. Body positive comes in all shapes and sizes, for example, I have been size 16/18 and then absolutely obsessive about calories and an 8/10 for several years and now my body has settled at a solid 10/12. It was really tough accepting taking a bigger size again, embracing my larger thighs and butt and broader shoulders. Just because I’m not plus size, it doesn’t mean I can’t be accepting of my new curves/muscles which I’ve built from lifting weights/eating more.
I think being accepting of ourselves and our bodies is the most empowering and important things we can do!
Katie
xx
http://www.cakevsscales.com
Thanks for your kind words Katie. I agree body positivity is about every size, not just the one that is associated with the movement at the moment. I try to tell myself this all the time, but it doesn’t stop those imposter syndrome feelings creeping up on me. Love that you are learning to accept your new shape, our bodies never stay the same over time and naturally change, which we have to learn to embrace. x
I completely understand why you feel like an outsider… But the fact that you want to be part of the movement, even if you’re not the stereotypical idea of someone who is part of it, is actually really good! As you said, the movement isn’t about one size, but every size.
Thanks so much Gareth! 🙂 Yes, I guess actually wanting to spread such a positive message is even more important.
To me body positivity is all about being comfortable in whatever skin you have, it is however something I have never managed to achieve. I think it doesn’t matter what size you are, everyone has insecurities and it should be about loving you for you, not needing to be something else.
Oh definitely, we all have insecurities whatever our size, which is why I wanted to write this post. Even though the movement promotes just on specific size actually it’s about every size.
The body positive movement is a great idea. The fact that there can be alot of negativity with body image…articles raising awareness like this really do help 🙂 x
Thanks Melanie, we definitely need to spread the word that all body shapes are beautiful.
This sounds like a great movement, it makes so much difference if you feel happy with the way you look.
It really does!
I feel exactly the same as you. I am all for body positivity but like you I tend to be on the smaller side and was often bullied because of being slim. I was never made to feel that my body was beautiful and always craved to be curvier. Body positivity needs to be inclusive and not just catered to one body shape x
I’m so sorry that you were bullied over your size, how awful! Body positivity is about every size although at the moment I think some sizes may be under-represented.
I feel like a bit of an outsider too as sometimes I feel body positive and I have embraced my size, but other times I don’t know how people do it x
It’s such a work in progress that requires a lot of work, but it’s so worth it!
I think that everybody has their insecurities about their bodies, even if you are skinny and look like a top model. Everyone has moments when they hate their body and they wish they looked different. But I think it’s important for these to remain just moments and not rule our lives and make us obsessed.
So true, Joanna. Unfortunately, we all face insecurities at some point in our lives regardless of our size. Like you say, we shouldn’t let these moments rule our lives, but it can be a struggle for some.
Thanks for being so honest and transparent. We all have insecurities for sure. I feel really inspired after reading this!
Really happy that you feel inspired after reading y post. Thank you. 🙂
Your voice definitely counts and it doesn’t matter what size you are, you can still champions for positive body image. I am not gay, but I still champion for gay tights.
Thank you, Dannii. I love the way you look at things.
I’ve never been as unhappy with my body as I am at the moment. It’s horrible 🙁 My main problem is that Oscar only sleeps for a couple of hours at night, and the less sleep I get, the more weight I seem to put on. I’m hoping things improve soon or I’m sure I’m going to get to the stage where I won’t want to leave the house.
Louise x
Lack of sleep can cause all sorts of issues that we would never even think about, like low self-esteem. Never think that your size determines your worth. Your size shouldn’t stop you loving your life because this is it – we’re only given one life. I realise that this is harder said than done. Please feel free to drop me an email if you would like to chat.
I’ve never been happy with what my shape is only when I had lost weight I was happy, then got complacent with eating wrong things and not taking care of myself, I guess loving your body what ever weight size you are helps overcome resentment and promotes confidence in yourself x
Exactly! When you love your body and realise your worth, this is when you realise that you are deserving of respect and your own care.
I don’t weigh myself either it’s not very helpful. I judge my weight loss by what clothes I can fit into. I’m not quite ready to accept my body for the way it is, I’m still working on fixing it.
No shame in that at all. We’re all works in process and you’re definitely not alone on this journey. We need to talk more about it.
I agree with the majority of comments here Jemma (except for the negative one at the top), you’ve nothing to feel bad or ashamed about, and you definitely shouldn’t feel like an outsider.Being body positive is about being comfortable in your own skin – and as long as you are that’s what counts x
Thanks so much, Becca! For me, it’s easy to feel like an outsider because my body shape isn’t what you envision when you think about body positivity. However, I’ve come to realise that my voice deserves to be heard and that body positivity is about all sizes and not limited to just one.
MAry’s comment has made my blood boil because she has not actually understood this post. Maybe she might want to re-read and look up the definition of body positive and review the movement again.
Thanks for sharing Jemma I know I struggle with my body and though I am not like others I too have my own unique issues as many others do
Oh Anosa, thank you for this comment! It made me smile. We all have our own personal battles to work through, but it’s comforting to know that we are never alone.
I feel no matter what shape or size or colour all my friends have issues with the way they look which is sad. I am trying to raise my daughter as body confident and it can be a challenge. Your balance guide sounds interesting.
I fully understand what you mean. You don’t have to have the extremes of the different body image in order to feel insecure about your body. I think having insecurities is just natural – obviously not to the extent at which they consume you or cripple you, but having those days when you go “ahh I wish I was a bit leaner”. There’s nothing wrong with that! I have those days all the time. As great as it is to stand proud of your body and be confident, it’s not entirely plausible for that to be an everyday norm. And it’s quite a lot of pressure to believe that we have to live life like that.
Anyway, for what it’s worth, I think you look gorgeous!
You make such a great point! “As great as it is to stand proud of your body and be confident, it’s not entirely plausible for that to be an everyday norm.” Awesomeness and very true. We put far too much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way and struggle to just be. I guess it’s a fact of trying to be OK with the ebbs and flows of life. I agree, it’s great to be confident about your body, but it’s not at all plausible and can potentially just as damaging if you were to pretend otherwise.
Thank you, Anna! x